I think I’m happy…

I think I’m happy…

Hey peeps, and welcome to another Project Unicorn blog! Isn’t the weather gorgeous at the moment?! It certainly is where I am in the UK. Glorious sunshine and heat. The birds are singing, the cats are soaking up the rays and the dogs are having a jolly good time running around in the grass.

Peeps… I think I’m… happy… Like, truly happy…

It’s really scary!

Haha! I love how I’m worrying about being happy! This is the thing I’ve been aiming for, a goal I’ve had in mind for a while… and now I’m worried again. I’m worried that it won’t last, that the come-down will be more than I bear…

But, at the same time… I don’t want to be worrying. The worry and the happiness come in waves, like gentle water lapping at a beach. Yeah, apparently I get all poetic and descriptive when I’m happy. Enjoy!

I think I’m so used to being anxious, so used to worrying that it’s become a habit. I’m so used to not feeling good enough and not being happy with my life, not feeling like a success or capable of achieving anything that I can’t recognise these feelings for what they are.

I didn’t have a single day off sick last week. Not one. For me, that’s amazing. I’ve not binged on food in 2 weeks. That’s also amazing. I’m so proud of myself.

Sure, I’ve had dips; I can look back over the last 2-3 weeks and see the odd difficult day. I’ve smoked a few cigarettes to keep from cutting but y’know what, I’m not smoking anymore, not for 4 days, and I feel brilliant.

The house is in order, I’m getting back on top of the laundry and the dishes… The dogs are so happy as well now that I’m happy.

So… how could I keep this going as much as possible?

  1. Write more of my book (that gives me a huge sense of pride in my achievement and it’s a great use of my extra energy)
  2. Exercise (I can improve my cardiovascular health and lose some weight, which will boost my self-esteem even more)
  3. Get ahead of the housework (so that it’s easier on the not-so-good days)

Yeah! I can do this!!!

Chibird doing great bunny

Image courtesy of http://chibird.com/


Until next time… stay amazing, my fellow unicorns!







I cut my hair!


Hey peeps! Welcome to another Project Unicorn blog. I’ve been really struggling with my anxiety and depression recently (as I’ve mentioned before) and it just doesn’t seem to be shifting.

After bursting into tears on my GP (family doctor), I was given more anti depressants and told to come back in a month.

However, I’ve been speaking to a great woman at work and she’s recommended a nutritional therapist. This holistic approach really helped her so I’m going  book myself in for a consultation.

I’m also going to contact Let’s Talk because they give free advice and can offer counselling if they think I need it.


Unicorn has no voice!

Unicorn has no voice!

Hey peeps, and welcome to another Project Unicorn blog!

I’m sorry for the radio silence over the last couple of weeks – my anxiety and depression have flared up again and I’ve just been a total social media hermit.

HOWEVER, I am feeling much better now, so I’m looking forward to blogging more frequently and creating more YouTube videos. Watch this space for updates and links.

No Voice?

So, for the last six days, I’ve had no voice. It started with the dreaded lurgy (a cold, for those of you who aren’t a drama llama.) Then it turned into tonsillitis. I’ve never had tonsillitis before, because I’m lucky, but that luck has most definitely run out. My glands swelled up until they were visible in my neck and my voice was completely and utterly gone. I’m on the mend now, painfully slowly, and am just taking one day at a time. Even though I want to jump right back into making videos, I have to heal first, because I still sound like I’ve been smoking 40 Virginia Slims every day for 20 years.

Hybrid Update

Excellent news on the book front – I’m steaming along, minus the last 4 days of being too ill to sit up and write – and have written six really good chapters so far. This coming from the Queen of the Re-write… having just under 20k of words that I’m happy with is really good news.

I intend to keep going at this pace as I really want the book finished this year. Hold me to my promise, fellow herd-members!!!

Chapter Seven is currently in progress, and I’m particularly excited because one of the main romances begins in this chapter. Raize meets Nathan at Nico’s Christmas party. It’s a small scene but it’s the seed for their entire relationship, which continues throughout the series. I’m so happy!

Work Update

Work is… well. It pays the bills, eh? Haha, I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more of a positive bean… Um… Work is… fine…

To be completely honest, I’m looking to leave my job. I want to set up my own dog-walking and dog-sitting business, so I’ll be creating my Wix website soon. And I’d like to do freelance copywriting, proof-reading, admin and editing in my spare time, since I’ll have hours in the day available. Imagine how much writing I could get done!

2017 Resolutions – An Update:

  • To write at least 1 sentence of my book every day
  • To create at least 1 Project Unicorn YouTube video every fortnight
  • To post at least 1 Project Unicorn blog every week (even if it’s really short!)

Okay… so I’m mostly keeping up with the resolution of writing 1 sentence of my book every day… I didn’t do any writing for the last 4 days because I was really poorly, so I’ll forgive myself for that. I need to do some writing today to keep up with that resolution… I’m really glad I checked back about these resolutions, actually; I’ve got a terrible memory and it’s nice to know what I signed up for!

Project Unicorn video every fortnight… it’s ‘mostly’ happening… I was REALLY consistent at the beginning, even posting twice a week, but then I slipped and it wasn’t even that I couldn’t find the time, it was that I didn’t feel good enough or worthy enough for YouTube. I felt guilty for creating content when I don’t watch that much of it. I’m one of those people who goes onto YouTube for 8 hours of club music or nature sounds, or to watch a fan video about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson kissing (or at least intimate eye-staring with imagined kisses in between). I suppose I just need to get on with it. Claire told me not to worry about what I ‘should’ be doing, ‘cos I was winding myself up with ‘I should be networking more’, ‘I should be watching more made content’ etc. She reminded me that I’m free to do what I want on YouTube… for such a rebellious, punk-loving creative Unicorn, I’m really scared of leaving the rulebook and heading out on my own. What does that say about me??

Finally… to post at last 1 blog every week… yeah… I’ve been really neglectful of this blogsite. I feel so guilty, because it’s such a great site and I really enjoy writing the posts when I actually do it! So, no more torturing myself for the things I HAVEN’T done. Here’s me picking myself up by my rainbow-coloured cotton socks and giving myself a big grin and saying ‘I CAN and I WILL.’

What’s Up This Week?

I’m working on my final assignment for Uni this week – it’s due on Thursday. Then we’re into the final leg because it’s REVISION TIME ready for the exam at the start of June! Great news, though, folks! I got 85% on my last essay, which is my highest score yet, AND included 2 poems that I had to analyse! I went with my gut instinct, had fun with it and it paid off!

Lesson learned: Stop trying to please other people by changing who you are. Embrace yourself completely and let your inner light shine through.

On that note… I’m going to do some writing now.