Hey peeps, and welcome to another Project Unicorn blog!
Today, I’d like to introduce you to Dandy Lion, the self-doubting weed.
Now, this is NOT my artwork, but this is very much how I imagine Dandy Lion, the self-doubting weed.
Basically, Claire and I (with the help of our amazing strong friend) cleared our back garden of all the massively overgrown weeds a few weeks ago, but in the nice weather I’ve noticed that they’re starting to grow back. So out I popped this morning to pull up some of the nettles and dandelions before they could take over and create a Backyard Jungle once again.
And it reminded me of my mental health.
Confidence and positive thinking don’t come naturally to me. My depression and anxiety are daily struggles. BUT if I can keep working on the weeds of self-doubt then, over time, Dandy Lion will become a positive-thinking flower, instead of a self-doubting weed.
So, how do I do this? With extreme effort and patience. And a lot of Google searching. I mean a LOT of Google searching.
There is tonnes of advice out there, and some of it might work for you, some of it won’t. Here’s something what works for me:
I pick a feature, just one, about myself that I like, and I compliment myself in the mirror EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Sometimes, I have to pretend that the reflection is a different person, and I ask myself, how would I speak to her? I’d never say a horrible, bullying thing to someone else, but my self-doubt weeds make me do that to myself.
Honestly, try it.
For me, I choose my big blue eyes. I think they’re really pretty.
Now, the self-doubting weed immediately pops up and, like a stinging nettle, jabs at me and says, “That’s so vain, who are you to like your own eyes? You can’t call yourself pretty; that’s arrogant and then no-one will love you.”
To which I reply, “It’s okay to like just one feature. I’m going to keep saying it for a while and see how things go.”
And the weed of self-doubt subsides into sulky silence and lets me get on with my day.
It still jabs at me (especially when I first started, it was so difficult to ignore the stings!), but perseverance is key and, sort of like non-harmful re-planting, the weed of self-doubt is slowly moved into a pretty terracotta pot and becomes a flower of confidence instead.
Because weeds are really just flowers in the wrong place.
There’s a time and a place for self-doubt – it can help us become better, stronger and kinder people – but too much self-doubt, like too many weeds, or self-doubt in the wrong place of your mind, like weeds in the wrong part of the garden, can make it really difficult to see all the beauty that your mind has to offer.
Could this work for you? Why not try it for 28 days and see? Apparently, that’s about how long it takes to change or create a new habit (or how long it takes to re-plant a weed into a pretty new pot).
Stay amazing, my fellow unicorns!
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