Unicorn has no voice!

Unicorn has no voice!

Hey peeps, and welcome to another Project Unicorn blog!

I’m sorry for the radio silence over the last couple of weeks – my anxiety and depression have flared up again and I’ve just been a total social media hermit.

HOWEVER, I am feeling much better now, so I’m looking forward to blogging more frequently and creating more YouTube videos. Watch this space for updates and links.

No Voice?

So, for the last six days, I’ve had no voice. It started with the dreaded lurgy (a cold, for those of you who aren’t a drama llama.) Then it turned into tonsillitis. I’ve never had tonsillitis before, because I’m lucky, but that luck has most definitely run out. My glands swelled up until they were visible in my neck and my voice was completely and utterly gone. I’m on the mend now, painfully slowly, and am just taking one day at a time. Even though I want to jump right back into making videos, I have to heal first, because I still sound like I’ve been smoking 40 Virginia Slims every day for 20 years.

Hybrid Update

Excellent news on the book front – I’m steaming along, minus the last 4 days of being too ill to sit up and write – and have written six really good chapters so far. This coming from the Queen of the Re-write… having just under 20k of words that I’m happy with is really good news.

I intend to keep going at this pace as I really want the book finished this year. Hold me to my promise, fellow herd-members!!!

Chapter Seven is currently in progress, and I’m particularly excited because one of the main romances begins in this chapter. Raize meets Nathan at Nico’s Christmas party. It’s a small scene but it’s the seed for their entire relationship, which continues throughout the series. I’m so happy!

Work Update

Work is… well. It pays the bills, eh? Haha, I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more of a positive bean… Um… Work is… fine…

To be completely honest, I’m looking to leave my job. I want to set up my own dog-walking and dog-sitting business, so I’ll be creating my Wix website soon. And I’d like to do freelance copywriting, proof-reading, admin and editing in my spare time, since I’ll have hours in the day available. Imagine how much writing I could get done!

2017 Resolutions – An Update:

  • To write at least 1 sentence of my book every day
  • To create at least 1 Project Unicorn YouTube video every fortnight
  • To post at least 1 Project Unicorn blog every week (even if it’s really short!)

Okay… so I’m mostly keeping up with the resolution of writing 1 sentence of my book every day… I didn’t do any writing for the last 4 days because I was really poorly, so I’ll forgive myself for that. I need to do some writing today to keep up with that resolution… I’m really glad I checked back about these resolutions, actually; I’ve got a terrible memory and it’s nice to know what I signed up for!

Project Unicorn video every fortnight… it’s ‘mostly’ happening… I was REALLY consistent at the beginning, even posting twice a week, but then I slipped and it wasn’t even that I couldn’t find the time, it was that I didn’t feel good enough or worthy enough for YouTube. I felt guilty for creating content when I don’t watch that much of it. I’m one of those people who goes onto YouTube for 8 hours of club music or nature sounds, or to watch a fan video about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson kissing (or at least intimate eye-staring with imagined kisses in between). I suppose I just need to get on with it. Claire told me not to worry about what I ‘should’ be doing, ‘cos I was winding myself up with ‘I should be networking more’, ‘I should be watching more made content’ etc. She reminded me that I’m free to do what I want on YouTube… for such a rebellious, punk-loving creative Unicorn, I’m really scared of leaving the rulebook and heading out on my own. What does that say about me??

Finally… to post at last 1 blog every week… yeah… I’ve been really neglectful of this blogsite. I feel so guilty, because it’s such a great site and I really enjoy writing the posts when I actually do it! So, no more torturing myself for the things I HAVEN’T done. Here’s me picking myself up by my rainbow-coloured cotton socks and giving myself a big grin and saying ‘I CAN and I WILL.’

What’s Up This Week?

I’m working on my final assignment for Uni this week – it’s due on Thursday. Then we’re into the final leg because it’s REVISION TIME ready for the exam at the start of June! Great news, though, folks! I got 85% on my last essay, which is my highest score yet, AND included 2 poems that I had to analyse! I went with my gut instinct, had fun with it and it paid off!

Lesson learned: Stop trying to please other people by changing who you are. Embrace yourself completely and let your inner light shine through.

On that note… I’m going to do some writing now.

 

Toodles!

How do I stay happy?

Hey peeps, and welcome to another (long overdue!) Project Unicorn blog!

I’m so sorry for abandoning this blog for so long! It’s a combination of not being very happy recently (and being a bit unwell) – see video below for more details – and being super busy writing my book (that’s good news!)

I’m feeling better now!

And back to my usual, bubbly self. Ready to record some new Project Unicorn videos and re-engage with positive thinking, promoting happiness to help with mental health, and being a nice person. I was in a really low place a few weeks ago, and even had a dip over the weekend following a migraine, but no matter how many times the nasty little voice in the back of my mind (Steve, as I call him) tells me I’m a failure, too fat, not good enough or not interesting enough to succeed at my ambitions in life, there is a stronger voice at the core of me, that glittery, diamond core, fighting back and saying ‘No. I’m worth it. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be successful. Nobody can stop me. I believe in myself.’

And the good news is, after all these months and years of saying this to myself, this voice is now louder and stronger than the nasty little Steve the Demon Monkey voice of self-doubt and self-hate.

I’m okay. And I’m going to keep being okay, one day at a time, one step at a time. Even if all I do is breathe, and keep living. Keep going.

So, what makes me happy? What gives me this confidence?

George, the Self-Esteem Cat

This is George. He’s an absolutely AMAZING puppet cat created by Xingcat on YouTube. Xingcat has his own blog, available here: < link > It’s a great read, and I highly recommend following it. He posts a LOT more often than I do, so you won’t be disappointed!!!

All of Xingcat’s videos are inspiring and motivational. THEY’RE ALSO HILARIOUS. But by far, my absolutely favourites are the George Self-Esteem videos.

I’ve said this many times in the comments to Xingcat, but I’m TOTALLY going to teach our children to say ‘I don’t know’ like Dog. If you don’t know how Dog says ‘I don’t know’… you really need to watch a video right now. I’ll wait. This is a blog. It’s not going anywhere. Hehe.

The messages from George are uplifting and easy to digest. I will often watch two or three back to back whilst washing up in the evening. They’re just full of hope and self-acceptance, which is so important. And Xingcat is such an amazing guy – he’s one of the best fellow creators anyone could ask for really, because he shares all of your stuff like a crazy person and is totally committed to supporting fellow creators in this world.

Hats off to you, Xingcat!!!

Life Goals

I was having a development catch up with my line manager the other day, and he asked me what I want to do in 5 years’ time. As I stared down the tunnel of time and imagined 2022, a scary concept because we’ll be in the 20’s, I realised that I wanted to be:

  • A published author (earning money from my books)
  • A professional YouTube creator – Project Unicorn and daily vlogging
  • A teacher – ideally primary school children

And these are just 3 of the things I came up with. I’d also love to be a Creative Writing lecturer, a film maker, run my own homestead, or livery yard, or dog walking and care business…

Yeah, I want to do everything! What I definitely DON’T want to do is stay in my current role, as comfortable as it is, because it doesn’t play to my strengths, it doesn’t challenge me in the areas where I want to grow, and doesn’t fulfil me emotionally or intellectually.

Does, however, pay a nice little salary… Hehe, so I’ll work hard for them until I can find pay my way with my passions.

Darn you, adult life and responsibilities!

Life (and other distractions)

Life (and other distractions)

Hey peeps, and welcome to another Project Unicorn post! Wow, these last few weeks have FLOWN by! I feel as though I only just wrote the Poorly Unicorn post, but here we are, on the 1st of February…

What have I been up to?

Well, I FINALLY got my assignment in, and am now waiting for the results to come back. I really hope I get a good grade… I worked so hard on those 1,500 words! I’ve never struggled to get a sentence out as much as I did when considering the rhyme scheme of two Romantic era poems.

Eugh. For a writer, I don’t enjoy studying the language itself. I think it’s because, for me, it takes the spontaneous inspiration out of the moment, the flow from the creative world to the page through my fingers on the keyboard… I find my writing either very stilted or woefully fast-paced and shallow when I’m writing by hand, too. I don’t think my hand can keep up with the words in my mind, whereas I can type much faster and so keep up with the ideas as I’m having them.

I think it might also be because writing, for me, isn’t a conscious act; I’m simply a conduit for the things happening in the other world that I can see, and I can see into the characters’ minds and so record what’s happening. I’m just a means of getting the story out into this world… If I then start to break it down and analyse why a writer chose a certain word… It takes some of the magic out of it for me.

Still, I’m doing a Creative Writing module next year, which should be a lot more fun. And I’m learning a lot of valuable lessons about writing and literature in general. If nothing else, it’s all good practice in essay writing and constructing a solid argument.

YouTube

I’ve now got 9 videos up on my Project Unicorn channel – this latest addition is a slightly longer video where I cover 28 things I’ve learned in 28 years! (I’m nearly 28, so it’s a valid question).

Check it out here!

 

Other life stuff

Aside from much filming and editing, I’ve sort of just been sorted out things in the house. Our boiler sort of exploded at the weekend, spraying water into the utility room and switching off. Permanently. Cold showers for US for two days! Brrr!

Managed to get the supply company to come out yesterday and they fixed it up. Fortunately, we have an extended warranty so the costs were covered, but oh boy!

Migraines

My new medication does seem to be helping with the migraines… They’re certainly not as painful as they were… I’m meeting my GP soon for a review, and I’m certainly going to ask that I stay on them, and possibly increase the dose. If I can crack the right combination I think I’ll do much better.

My anxiety does seem to be rearing its ugly Steve-the-Evil-Monkey head at the moment, though. I wonder if this is because the old migraine medication was also used to treat anxiety, whereas now this new tablet is just for migraines and mood disorders… It’s hard to tell how long I’ve been anxious for, because it feels like forever… In truth, I think it’s only been about a week… And I have had a few things to be anxious about, such as being put onto a sickness improvement plan at work (standard procedure) and the boiler breaking.

Maybe I’m thinking into this too much. I’m sure I’ll be fine…

Well, I’ll chat about it with my GP and see what he says.

Toodles for now!

Project Unicorn is on YouTube!

Project Unicorn is on YouTube!

Oh my goodness, peeps, I’m SO excited! I’m on YouTube!

I filmed my first video last Friday and published it at the weekend, and my second video is live from 3.30pm UK-Time today!

The videos are so much fun to create and edit, and I’m already getting so many positive comments from some truly amazing fellow YouTubers.

And, of course, it wouldn’t be possible without my amazing wife, Claire, the artist behind the awesome Blacksummer Colouring channel. You can check out her amazing artwork here:

http://www.youtube.com/c/blacksummercolouring

It’s truly addictive. I’m totally kicking Claire out of her studio for a bit tonight so that I can film Friday’s video (I want to upload every Tuesday and Friday).

The content is really light and cheerful. As much as possible, I want to spread happiness and positivity, and generally make people laugh. The videos are a great opportunity for me to have a natter about my life, my experiences and issues that are near and dear to me, including mental health (particularly depression and anxiety), migraines, writing and the daily fight to be happy.

I’ve already started planning for my future videos, including how I could incorporate the reality of living with depression (just a peek, though, as we don’t want to share sadness) and migraines, as well as my coping mechanisms and things I’ve found that cheer me up.

I’m going to have a couple of different Marvin the Unicorn pictures for the thumbnail, to let people know what the video will be about, or at least the theme of the video. E.g. the normal Marvin is upside down, and he looks so happy to be doing a hand-stand. A sad Marvin will be crying, to quickly warn people away from the video if they don’t feel up for watching someone else be sad (I know sometimes I don’t have the strength that day, but could watch it another time), and the little doodle that I did of Marvin in pain when I have a migraine (to warn people that I might not make sense and I will look TERRIBLE on camera!)

Then, as the channel progresses, I may even get more!

One of the things I love about the video set up is the opportunity for people to ask me questions. Claire had the genius idea to create a Jar of Unicorn Wisdom (basically, a cute jar for those days when I need some external inspiration) full of questions or little challenges for me to answer/do, and I’ve already had a couple of people ask me other questions in the comments! This means I can then add these to the jar and answer them at random on camera!

I’m literally bouncing in my chair right now, I’m so happy! And because it’s giving me such a buzz and so much energy, I’m finding myself writing more. I’ve done way more than a sentence a day for the past few days, so Chapter Six is coming along swimmingly.

Uni work? … Not so much… I’m going to do it… Maybe this weekend???

No! No, I’m going to start… well, I might do some of the reading tonight… After I film… I’ll have time… surely… Problem is, I’m working a bit later tonight, and I’ve got to drop off a clothes order return on the way to pick Claire up from work…

This week is turning out to be quite busy, actually. Clothing returns tonight (to try and make up for all the money I spent on myself over Christmas… sales don’t count, do they…?, sisters-in-law over on Thursday, and Friday sees Louis the cat going to the vets for a booster vaccination (bless him!) and then Claire and I are taking her sister out for dinner…

I have Wednesday… I know, I’ll edit my video and do some Uni work on Wednesday… and then it’s the weekend again. Yay! Sorted.

Claire and I are going to do a collaboration soon between our channels. It’s going to be so good! I’ll post a link when it comes out!

Right, well, I was writing this over my lunch break and I need to gobble down my sandwich now before I head back to my desk. If I’m quick, I’ll be able to squeeze in a bit of writing before I have to go to my next project meeting…

Toodles!